Conflict.

first of all, i would like to say that God works in such mysterious ways.
i wrestle with complications in my life often and it mentally wears me out. outsiders looking in probably wouldn't guess that i'm someone that  deals with issues on a daily basis. but unfortunately i do. happiness is a state of mind, but sometimes for me it's just hard to find.

i had a fairly good weekend but it  ended with a disagreement with someone i deeply care about. relationships aren't perfect. they never are and they never will be. but working on it will get somewhere close to what i may call perfect. i learn so much about myself when it comes to disagreements. and i also learn that i have so much to grow from.
i learned that i am extremely non-confrontational. my best friend and boyfriend would agree with me 100%. confronting others takes a lot of effort plus some. confronting is out of my comfort zone and that's half the problem. i don't know how to properly direct a disagreement.
i'm not sure why either. i don't want to blame anyone for it because that's the other half of my problem. i don't like to acknowledge the fact that i'm wrong and i need to work on myself as well.

i handled the problem in a way that i shouldn't have. i shut down, and avoided it. probably the worst strategy that i could have chosen. it only left me feeling worse than i already did and the damage seemed irreversible. but God thought otherwise. He knew that conflict is such a hard task that i struggle to overcome. so, through all the hurt he spoke to me in the message this morning at church.

times like this gives me more of a reason to believe that God hasn't forgotten about me. I want nothing more than his reassurance that he's always there and for the first time in awhile i received that this morning. He spoke to me, it was unreal and i was awe in the fact that it couldn't have came to me at a perfect time. i will forever remember on how to properly handle conflicts that come my way. i know that with prayer God will guide me through my imperfections, just like he did today.
xoxo Dom