First off I want to say thank you for all the encouraging words. The amount of views I received from my previous blog shot through the roof and now I feel even more motivated to make this a habit once again. I viewed blogging as a personal journal to share my adventure and journey in life but lately I have felt a call to write about what I do to push through hard times, work through disastrous situations and to stay positive.
Lately, I have found myself in a state of comparison. I have struggled with this in the past but it has made its way back in my life again. In the back of my mind I find myself looking at other people and their lives rather than my own. Constantly comparing myself with others. I am not sure if its because of my age and where I am in life but its becoming a habit and I have put some things into perspective and I am finding a way out of it.
Modern society is a race and many people allow material things to control their lives. Survival of the fittest becomes a prominent rule. And I am ready to get out of this race.
1. Complaining and wishing
The more I find myself wishing I was elsewhere or doing something else I am actually comparing my situation with an unreachable state. The more I compare the more I dread what I am doing that simply cannot be helped. Instead I have decided to be present in the moment, quiet my mind and just eliminate distractions.
2. Money
A want and a necessity. Unfortunately tangible goods or buy-able experiences cannot bring me unending joy. Money is important but I am done chasing it. Little did I realize that enjoying the simple things have brought more joy than buying new clothes.
3. LIFE
Sometimes when things go wrong I wish I were someone else. (don't act like that has never happened to you) Too bad we cant switch bodies and live someone else's life. Since that isn't an option I just have to work with the life I have been given. Life consists of special individualism and unique experiences that combine and create significant memories. There are roughly seven billion people in this world and no one could ever take this privilege from me. So I have learned to just be patient. If I let the things above overwhelm my life and replace the voids all I am doing is slowing myself down.
Everyone is bound for great things. Have faith. Do what you love. Have fun and be happy. Your greatness will come.
Never Compare
Dom
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Monday, October 21, 2013
Mind Chatter
In just three short months I have found an appreciation for literature, a desire to spend time in the kitchen, self-reliance and the willpower to cut more than ten inches off my hair. Reading back it blows my mind how this path i walk in life can be altered so easily.
Tonight I sit back and think about what my life is & why I do the things I do.
Just two weeks ago I took a big leap out of the nest I have known all my life. I was filled with excitement, anticipation, and just a slight hint of anxiety. Not knowing the future and what comes next daunts me. I like things in order, through a check list, and everything planned from A to Z. Although I have seen a pattern with the way I like things. Order is good, a check list is great and planning everything is even better but I have noticed that with bigger decisions in my life it stresses me out. I'm tense and definitely not at ease. This pattern was reoccurring and all I had a hankering to do is eat, sleep, and absolutely nothing.
Where did this get me? No where. What was my life coming to? Nothing. My moods changed, my aspirations dwindled and the love I had for things faded. I began a philosophy class this fall and even though I do not necessarily comply with the ideas of these philosophers their views take a nice pick at my brain. With my philosophy professor being all about mind, soul and body it also keeps me attentive in class. I have noticed how easily it is for my emotions and feelings to get the best of me.
There are quite a few things that will alter my mood rather drastically. Things like being stuck in traffic, no one answering my calls, slow Internet, and being stuck in line behind someone entirely too slow for the average human being. I was in deep thought the other day and I started to feel foolish that I allowed the simplest things and even people to completely modify my mood and even my day. So I decided to challenge myself. Anytime anything started to creep under my skin I would stop it before it got too far. I tried my best to not let agitation get a hold of me. I told myself I would not let this feeling triumph over me anymore.
And you know what, it worked. I am starting to live a more mindful life and becoming the boss of my mind factory. Established myth in self-help industry is that our thoughts determine our destiny and who we are. There is all this mind chatter in our brain that it will continue to speak unless we can grasp hold and turn it off. Evil, bitter, and enraged thoughts control me when things in my life go unplanned. But what I learned is that pure thoughts should be dominating these other thoughts because pure thoughts determine who we are and what our calling in life is. A sudden realization emerged when pure thoughts dominate. I was only able to do this because I became aware of "wasteful thoughts," -thoughts which are negative and keep us busy throughout the day to unrelated things in our life. I am continuing to learn how to completely discard these wasteful thoughts but until then I challenge you to try this. To recognize these wasteful thoughts that grab hold and feed our mind chatter. Happier days will be in your forecast, trust me.
Dom
Tonight I sit back and think about what my life is & why I do the things I do.
Just two weeks ago I took a big leap out of the nest I have known all my life. I was filled with excitement, anticipation, and just a slight hint of anxiety. Not knowing the future and what comes next daunts me. I like things in order, through a check list, and everything planned from A to Z. Although I have seen a pattern with the way I like things. Order is good, a check list is great and planning everything is even better but I have noticed that with bigger decisions in my life it stresses me out. I'm tense and definitely not at ease. This pattern was reoccurring and all I had a hankering to do is eat, sleep, and absolutely nothing.
Where did this get me? No where. What was my life coming to? Nothing. My moods changed, my aspirations dwindled and the love I had for things faded. I began a philosophy class this fall and even though I do not necessarily comply with the ideas of these philosophers their views take a nice pick at my brain. With my philosophy professor being all about mind, soul and body it also keeps me attentive in class. I have noticed how easily it is for my emotions and feelings to get the best of me.
There are quite a few things that will alter my mood rather drastically. Things like being stuck in traffic, no one answering my calls, slow Internet, and being stuck in line behind someone entirely too slow for the average human being. I was in deep thought the other day and I started to feel foolish that I allowed the simplest things and even people to completely modify my mood and even my day. So I decided to challenge myself. Anytime anything started to creep under my skin I would stop it before it got too far. I tried my best to not let agitation get a hold of me. I told myself I would not let this feeling triumph over me anymore.
And you know what, it worked. I am starting to live a more mindful life and becoming the boss of my mind factory. Established myth in self-help industry is that our thoughts determine our destiny and who we are. There is all this mind chatter in our brain that it will continue to speak unless we can grasp hold and turn it off. Evil, bitter, and enraged thoughts control me when things in my life go unplanned. But what I learned is that pure thoughts should be dominating these other thoughts because pure thoughts determine who we are and what our calling in life is. A sudden realization emerged when pure thoughts dominate. I was only able to do this because I became aware of "wasteful thoughts," -thoughts which are negative and keep us busy throughout the day to unrelated things in our life. I am continuing to learn how to completely discard these wasteful thoughts but until then I challenge you to try this. To recognize these wasteful thoughts that grab hold and feed our mind chatter. Happier days will be in your forecast, trust me.
Dom
Friday, July 19, 2013
It's been 4 months since I have even attempted to open my blog.
I think thats record breaking for me. I truly do miss writing but finding the time of day is a struggle.
First off, I can't even grasp the idea of how much my life has changed since January.
As i sit here and reminisce everything these past couple of months it's almost unreal to me.
I am not sure where to even begin..
Although through these past couple of months the love I have for my family has grown tremendously. They are truly my backbone and support through every stupid and smart decision that I make. I have learned that the time I invest in them is indefinite. The memories and moments I cherish with them are everlasting and forever serrated into my heart. Sometimes I wish all my friendships were the same way.
But my mom always told me friends come and go and you just have to deal with it. Someone else important in my life also told me that we all go through seasonal friends. Friends that we fully invest our lives into and then they just vanish. Unfortunate but true. Whether it's intentional or not we have to learn to move forward with full intent to continue to live a happy life. These words of wisdom have been so encouraging to me.
" Sometimes your new friends are more loyal than your old friends. "
I have also learned to disregard what anyone thinks of me. From all the situations I have been in people talk, assume and judge. But you know what, I've turned my shoulder and I am continuing to move forward with the ones who truly love me for me and not my mistakes.
This is the happiest I have been in awhile and I will undoubtedly not let anyone get the best of me.
xoxo Dom.
I think thats record breaking for me. I truly do miss writing but finding the time of day is a struggle.
First off, I can't even grasp the idea of how much my life has changed since January.
As i sit here and reminisce everything these past couple of months it's almost unreal to me.
I am not sure where to even begin..
Although through these past couple of months the love I have for my family has grown tremendously. They are truly my backbone and support through every stupid and smart decision that I make. I have learned that the time I invest in them is indefinite. The memories and moments I cherish with them are everlasting and forever serrated into my heart. Sometimes I wish all my friendships were the same way.
But my mom always told me friends come and go and you just have to deal with it. Someone else important in my life also told me that we all go through seasonal friends. Friends that we fully invest our lives into and then they just vanish. Unfortunate but true. Whether it's intentional or not we have to learn to move forward with full intent to continue to live a happy life. These words of wisdom have been so encouraging to me.
" Sometimes your new friends are more loyal than your old friends. "
I have also learned to disregard what anyone thinks of me. From all the situations I have been in people talk, assume and judge. But you know what, I've turned my shoulder and I am continuing to move forward with the ones who truly love me for me and not my mistakes.
This is the happiest I have been in awhile and I will undoubtedly not let anyone get the best of me.
xoxo Dom.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
LIFE
I have stared my computer screen for a good ten minutes trying to figure out where I left off.
However, I'm starting to realize it's slightly impossible because so much goes in my life that my brain begins to only keep what is most important and just discard the rest. And when I get clarity in my mind, it will then inspire logic.
Lately, I have been lost in a sea of homework, 3 books, and work. I can honestly admit to missing time for myself. I promise I do not say that selfishly. I am just so task oriented that penciling in time for people and myself always ends up getting erased.
I see myself slowly evolving into a home-body. You probably would too if you had my schedule.
This lifestyle that I am slowly, but not quite adapting to has firmly put some important attributes to the test. Attributes that include; balancing life, homework, boyfriend, friends, family, sorority sisters..
putting priorities first, and BUDGETING.
My planner has became my best friend. Luckily my actual best friends are accepting of that. Along with being a perfectionist and an organized devotee you can only imagine what it looks like if you were to open my planner to today's date. I have also had to sacrifice a lot since this semester has started. It's bittersweet but if I tried to find room for non-priority events I would turn into a walking zombie. Trust me, it isn't an enticing look for me.
The biggest endeavor is learning how to successfully budget. At one point I took scissors to my debit card. And no, I am not exaggerating. My card is probably scattered in pieces in a landfill somewhere. I just became so frustrated that I could not control my spending. Re-reading that sentence makes me sound like a delirious individual but I get the notion that someone can become that way when their not fully content with what they already have.
Yes, there is a huge blinking arrow pointing at me right now.
That is why I started this new book called Constantly Craving. Feeling content is like a roller coaster ride for me. There will be times I will hit a peak and then hit the bottom so abruptly that also included a bumpy ride on the way down. Gratification is only ever a short period of time but I'm slowly learning how to not let that itch for me return. I learned that feeling happy comes as an addition to feeling content. However, being content is having the ability to grasp the idea that happiness comes and goes.
My goal is to conquer all of this here in the next couple of months and then
toast with a hot cup of tea, in my bed with warms socks and a chick flick. Sounds pretty ideal for me.
xoxo,
Dom
However, I'm starting to realize it's slightly impossible because so much goes in my life that my brain begins to only keep what is most important and just discard the rest. And when I get clarity in my mind, it will then inspire logic.
Lately, I have been lost in a sea of homework, 3 books, and work. I can honestly admit to missing time for myself. I promise I do not say that selfishly. I am just so task oriented that penciling in time for people and myself always ends up getting erased.
I see myself slowly evolving into a home-body. You probably would too if you had my schedule.
This lifestyle that I am slowly, but not quite adapting to has firmly put some important attributes to the test. Attributes that include; balancing life, homework, boyfriend, friends, family, sorority sisters..
putting priorities first, and BUDGETING.
My planner has became my best friend. Luckily my actual best friends are accepting of that. Along with being a perfectionist and an organized devotee you can only imagine what it looks like if you were to open my planner to today's date. I have also had to sacrifice a lot since this semester has started. It's bittersweet but if I tried to find room for non-priority events I would turn into a walking zombie. Trust me, it isn't an enticing look for me.
The biggest endeavor is learning how to successfully budget. At one point I took scissors to my debit card. And no, I am not exaggerating. My card is probably scattered in pieces in a landfill somewhere. I just became so frustrated that I could not control my spending. Re-reading that sentence makes me sound like a delirious individual but I get the notion that someone can become that way when their not fully content with what they already have.
Yes, there is a huge blinking arrow pointing at me right now.
That is why I started this new book called Constantly Craving. Feeling content is like a roller coaster ride for me. There will be times I will hit a peak and then hit the bottom so abruptly that also included a bumpy ride on the way down. Gratification is only ever a short period of time but I'm slowly learning how to not let that itch for me return. I learned that feeling happy comes as an addition to feeling content. However, being content is having the ability to grasp the idea that happiness comes and goes.
My goal is to conquer all of this here in the next couple of months and then
toast with a hot cup of tea, in my bed with warms socks and a chick flick. Sounds pretty ideal for me.
xoxo,
Dom
Monday, December 3, 2012
Getaway
Coming home from a nice weekend getaway turns into a dream when everything around me starts to look familiar again. I spent the weekend in Illinois with Tyler for his best friends engagement party. It makes me happy to see him in his element with his friends from the previous college he attended out in Chicago. We spent most of the time in the country and even though I'd love to live in a big city, cornfield and small towns made me enjoy the simpler things. It also made me feel fortunate to have I have now.
We ate at a lot of hometown restaurants that turned every head when I walked in. Probably because I'm the only colored person in the entire town. Luckily it's a familiar feeling and I still managed to exchange smiles with everyone there.
Everyday was quiet. A nice quiet. A quiet that I dwelled upon. A simple thing that I enjoyed this weekend.
Overall it was a nice time away. It made it even better since I got to spend it with Tyler. Times like this makes our relationship stronger. I'm more thankful for him, and his patience with me this weekend. How did I ever get so lucky?
Anyways, finals week is around the corner and I'm slightly panicking.
Papers, tests, and studying. Sorry social network but I will not let you distract me this week. Or at least try not to let you distract me.
xoxo Dom
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
it's 8am and there's one thing i learned about waking up early. if i make time for myself before i actually start my day i'm almost guaranteed to have a better day. so far i can vouch to that 100%.
where to begin..!? i've picked up another part time job. i can officially classify myself as a busy bee. full time student, 2 jobs, boyfriend, bestfriend, sorority, and 4 siblings. talk about much needed me time. i need a break though. mainly from school. the work load is unbelievable. at this point i'm just learning to tough it out considering it's probably not going to get any easier.
however, things have been on the upside (for the most part) i've met some remarkable people with the most interesting stories these past couple of months. they were brought into my life for some sort of reason, and after some time i started to realize why.
one friend in particular came to me sharing her story. it's incredible how she instilled so much trust in me without even knowing me for a long period of time. but little did i realize that God did bring us together and it has definitely worked out in the end.
From her story I've learned how the things that are always readily available to us, we tend to take for granted. i dont think i've became so thankful for every little thing in my life until she told me her story. i know that i'm equipped with more than plenty, but i still want more. it's me being selfish and never wanting to just settle when i know there's potential to have more. i'm working on this because i learned at church last sunday that i will never be content or find joy if my expectations are too high and if i can't be content with what i already have.
it's so true and times like this just gives me a fortunate reality check.
one big example is Thanksgiving. it's merely a time to give thanks for everything you have. also, to feast on amazing food. but that's besides the point. what happens the day after Thanksgiving? BLACK FRIDAY. where people wait hours and hours for things they probably wouldn't buy if it weren't on sale. After saying thanks for everything they have, they go to the store and trample over each other for stuff they probably don't need. that moment of joy from walking out with a brand new tv turns into what after a month? an old tv, that has you itching for a new one?
don't get me wrong, i enjoy black friday. but when i look at it from a different perspective where is that contentment? maybe i'm over analyzing all of this but in my opinion i should consider this perspective from here on out.
on a brighter note, i'm ready for the holidays and Christmas music has already begun. one great thing about living in the midwest, is when the seasons change. it makes the holidays that more special.
xoxo Dom
where to begin..!? i've picked up another part time job. i can officially classify myself as a busy bee. full time student, 2 jobs, boyfriend, bestfriend, sorority, and 4 siblings. talk about much needed me time. i need a break though. mainly from school. the work load is unbelievable. at this point i'm just learning to tough it out considering it's probably not going to get any easier.
however, things have been on the upside (for the most part) i've met some remarkable people with the most interesting stories these past couple of months. they were brought into my life for some sort of reason, and after some time i started to realize why.
one friend in particular came to me sharing her story. it's incredible how she instilled so much trust in me without even knowing me for a long period of time. but little did i realize that God did bring us together and it has definitely worked out in the end.
From her story I've learned how the things that are always readily available to us, we tend to take for granted. i dont think i've became so thankful for every little thing in my life until she told me her story. i know that i'm equipped with more than plenty, but i still want more. it's me being selfish and never wanting to just settle when i know there's potential to have more. i'm working on this because i learned at church last sunday that i will never be content or find joy if my expectations are too high and if i can't be content with what i already have.
it's so true and times like this just gives me a fortunate reality check.
one big example is Thanksgiving. it's merely a time to give thanks for everything you have. also, to feast on amazing food. but that's besides the point. what happens the day after Thanksgiving? BLACK FRIDAY. where people wait hours and hours for things they probably wouldn't buy if it weren't on sale. After saying thanks for everything they have, they go to the store and trample over each other for stuff they probably don't need. that moment of joy from walking out with a brand new tv turns into what after a month? an old tv, that has you itching for a new one?
don't get me wrong, i enjoy black friday. but when i look at it from a different perspective where is that contentment? maybe i'm over analyzing all of this but in my opinion i should consider this perspective from here on out.
on a brighter note, i'm ready for the holidays and Christmas music has already begun. one great thing about living in the midwest, is when the seasons change. it makes the holidays that more special.
xoxo Dom
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Blessed beyond belief.
I cannot even express in words how thankful I am for all the blessings I've had in my life lately. It's unbelievable I do not even know where to start. I really don't think I deserve any of it! But God is too good and continues to pour out blessings anyways.
First off, classes are going really well. And I mean extremely well. I finally get to start my teaching program next semester and I'm beyond ecstatic. I have great classes this semester and I'm striving to get a 4.0. YES, a 4.0. If I set my goals higher the more I want to succeed. Then recently I just got offered the position of become a residential assistance in the Honors dorm. Because, my GPA meets the requirements means I can live in nicer dorms, FOR FREE! Good grades can sure take you a long way.
Besides classes, I just joined the Delta Zeta (Kappa Iota) sorority. I am beyond thrilled to have a group of new sisters. The whole process was long, but completely and absolutely worth it in the end. The group of girls in this sorority are already incredible and everything I hoped for. I met girls through the whole process that I can't even explain how incredible they are. I am so thankful to have started my journey with them and now we will be sisters for life. God brought certain people to me during my journey and he used me to speak to them. Indescribable feeling. I still can't believe that after all those rounds I found my home with DZ!
Besides school, my family, boyfriend and friends are truly my everything. My two best friends are a phone call away at any time of the day. They are the last to judge and they accept me for who I am, through my faults and all. I couldn't ask for better friends. Feels good to finally say that and mean it.
Next to my friends comes my boyfriend who is INCREDIBLE. We just celebrated our 3 year last sunday. I can't believe it's already been three years with my soul mate! He is so perfect, well..he's what I call perfect. Everything I've ever wanted all right there. How did I get so lucky? Hm, beats me.
These are just some of the big blessings in my life lately but there is so much more that I have no time in the day to list. I am so hopeful for my future and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me next!
xoxo,
Dom
First off, classes are going really well. And I mean extremely well. I finally get to start my teaching program next semester and I'm beyond ecstatic. I have great classes this semester and I'm striving to get a 4.0. YES, a 4.0. If I set my goals higher the more I want to succeed. Then recently I just got offered the position of become a residential assistance in the Honors dorm. Because, my GPA meets the requirements means I can live in nicer dorms, FOR FREE! Good grades can sure take you a long way.
Besides classes, I just joined the Delta Zeta (Kappa Iota) sorority. I am beyond thrilled to have a group of new sisters. The whole process was long, but completely and absolutely worth it in the end. The group of girls in this sorority are already incredible and everything I hoped for. I met girls through the whole process that I can't even explain how incredible they are. I am so thankful to have started my journey with them and now we will be sisters for life. God brought certain people to me during my journey and he used me to speak to them. Indescribable feeling. I still can't believe that after all those rounds I found my home with DZ!
Besides school, my family, boyfriend and friends are truly my everything. My two best friends are a phone call away at any time of the day. They are the last to judge and they accept me for who I am, through my faults and all. I couldn't ask for better friends. Feels good to finally say that and mean it.
Next to my friends comes my boyfriend who is INCREDIBLE. We just celebrated our 3 year last sunday. I can't believe it's already been three years with my soul mate! He is so perfect, well..he's what I call perfect. Everything I've ever wanted all right there. How did I get so lucky? Hm, beats me.
These are just some of the big blessings in my life lately but there is so much more that I have no time in the day to list. I am so hopeful for my future and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me next!
xoxo,
Dom
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