College

currently listening to Chris Young and i'm not ashamed that i love country music.

today i woke up to 25 degree weather and a blizzard. oh, just another reminder that i have animosity for this weather and this season all together. i read about seasonal depression the other day and i can be in total unison with what the writer was saying. the sun gives us so much vitamin D and it keeps us in good mood. for myself, it keeps me sane.

this is why i applied to a school (and got accepted) called Palm Beach Atlantic University in West Palm Beach, Florida. and yes, the school is directly on the beach where the weather is 85 degrees and sunny. all day, everyday. sounds like paradise to me. however, i was reanalyzing my decision and i don't want to go a school because of the weather, the location, or leisure. i would rather go because of academics, my ability to freely come home, and being able to afford it.
that is why i applied to a couple schools here in Ohio and Tennessee. once my boyfriend reads this he may be a little disappointed because we have been talking about Florida for far too long and now i'm indifferent.

unfortunately, i am the most indecisive person you will ever get to know. i not only want to please myself but i always try to please the other person before myself. so i'd rather not put my two sense in and just go along with a decision that someone else makes. in result of my afflicted trait i can't decide where i want to further my education.

sadly enough it's possibly one of the hardest decision i have to make. My parents are paying for college, i want to be close to my family, i'm in fear of leaving my comfort zone and i have a guaranteed job here at home all factor into my decision. which doesn't make it any easier.

with a delay in this whole process i feel like i'll be college for forever. this is not what i had planned for my future. the other day i was rethinking my major and decided to discuss it with my mom. she told me i was crazy and shouldn't over think all of this. maybe she's right. maybe i am over analyzing and not letting God take control of my life. it's difficult to not feel in control and to live another ordinary day knowing i've done my part and the rest is for God to handle.

so, from then on i'm trying my best to not over analyze. to let loose of all my worries because that's what's holding me back and delaying all of this.
i finally knew the answer to the cliche question i was asked when i was a child, "What do you want to be when you get older?"
for me, that's a good start.

i'm anxious to find out where i'll be this year. so many New Year Resolutions that i'm trying to stay whole heartily true to. i know with a great amount of self-discipline and encouragement i will become the person that i want to be this year.

Dom