not because it's one day before friday, not because of "thirsty thursday" but because i get to gather with such amazing people and have fellowship at my home church, Fairhaven.
first off, i think it is so amazing that there are college students/young adults that have not forgotten about the one who died for them. in my opinion i believe that this is the hardest time to have a relationship with God. with different responsibilities, work and school it makes it hard to find time to sit down and read the Bible. however, i have this wonderful ministry and a young adult group called The Cube, that allows people my age to come together and remind us that through all of the busyness in our daily lives God is still there.
before telling you what i experienced tonight i would like you and everyone else to know that i am no longer who i was. what you know or think about me was my past. my appalling past. im done with immaturity and ready to seek a new life. i'm not afraid to tell you that i was dumbfounded and carried on bad habits. there is much more to life than a temporary high and acting like a fool. i've taken on a new integrity and i'm done pleasing those around me cause in the end it really doesn't matter.
anyways, tonight happened to be one of those nights where you just sit there and soak in the holy spirit. the presence of God was clearly there. i sat and listened to the music and never wanted that immense feeling to relinquish.
my NextGen pastor spoke some pretty compelling words tonight. (well, he always does) he talked about one person in specific and how we can all learn from the situation. and how we should never target a person that we have conflicts with for the world to see. if we have issues with someone than we should contact them directly otherwise we will build even more negative feelings towards them. and in the end it wasn't them who really has the problems. it's ourselves.
my favorite quote of the night was, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye?
people continuously judge and convict others of their problems when the list of their own problems are endless.
i would like to say an apology from the bottom of my heart. after tonight i felt convicted and wrong. people in our ministry should be considered as my brothers and sisters in Christ but i failed to treat them as if they were. after a minor situation that became larger i only had negative thoughts and feelings towards a specific person. i looked past on how i should have acted and instead judged and steered clear of the problem. i should have looked past my selfishness and became humble and approached the person as an individual rather than talking about it to others without him knowing. i feel contrite and doleful because maybe my words and proof that i actually care for the person may have led to a different outcome.
at the end of the night we had a prayer wall. their were scattered post-it notes and pens below the poster for everyone to write their prayer requests. after a couple of minutes i felt that God wanted me to ask others to help me grow. i grabbed a neon pink post-it and i asked for humbleness and to be a better disciple of God. a couple of the girls next to be were my good friends and i could hear them sniffling because the night had been so moving that tears of joy, and sorrow were not only streaming down their faces but everyone else's as well.
one of the girls in particular happened to be someone that i was extremely close with. she was my other half, my left to my right, my hands to my feet. all in all, my accountability partner. problems arose in the past and things have never been the same. it breaks my heart and i feel torn about it everyday. there has not been one prayer that i pray and leave her out. i believe that things will get better and our brokenness will fully be placed back together.
now that i sit here i wish that i could experience this every night. thursday nights really get me back on my feet and helps my brush my shoulders clean. it really helps me exonerate all my troubles and sins and reminds me that i am forgiven. i'm far from perfection but i know that through my amazing friends and a steady foundation i will become who i want to be and that is to fully devote my heart and soul as a disciple of God.
Dom
Domonique,
ReplyDeleteIt is so encouraging to hear that there are so many people our age who are excited about being a disciple for God! I feel like today, to call ourselves Christians, doesn't take on it's full meaning. With the crazy Westboro Church people, and the people who claim to be Christians but have never even picked up a bible! It's so awesome to know that young people are taking on the true meaning of being a Christian, and following the Lord.