Mind Chatter

In just three short months I have found an appreciation for literature, a desire to spend time in the kitchen, self-reliance and the willpower to cut more than ten inches off my hair. Reading back it blows my mind how this path i walk in life can be altered so easily.

Tonight I sit back and think about what my life is & why I do the things I do.

Just two weeks ago I took a big leap out of the nest I have known all my life. I was filled with excitement, anticipation, and just a slight hint of anxiety. Not knowing the future and what comes next daunts me. I like things in order, through a check list, and everything planned from A to Z. Although I have seen a pattern with the way I like things. Order is good, a check list is great and planning everything is even better but I have noticed that with bigger decisions in my life it stresses me out. I'm tense and definitely not at ease. This pattern was reoccurring and all I had a hankering to do is eat, sleep, and absolutely nothing.

Where did this get me? No where. What was my life coming to? Nothing. My moods changed, my aspirations dwindled and the love I had for things faded. I began a philosophy class this fall and even though I do not necessarily comply with the ideas of these philosophers their views take a nice pick at my brain. With my philosophy professor being all about mind, soul and body it also keeps me attentive in class. I have noticed how easily it is for my emotions and feelings to get the best of me.

There are quite a few things that will alter my mood rather drastically. Things like being stuck in traffic, no one answering my calls, slow Internet, and being stuck in line behind someone entirely too slow for the average human being. I was in deep thought the other day and I started to feel foolish that I allowed the simplest things and even people to completely modify my mood and even my day. So I decided to challenge myself. Anytime anything started to creep under my skin I would stop it before it got too far. I tried my best to not let agitation get a hold of me. I told myself I would not let this feeling triumph over me anymore.

And you know what, it worked. I am starting to live a more mindful life and becoming the boss of my mind factory. Established myth in self-help industry is that our thoughts determine our destiny and who we are. There is all this mind chatter in our brain that it will continue to speak unless we can grasp hold and turn it off. Evil, bitter, and enraged thoughts control me when things in my life go unplanned. But what I learned is that pure thoughts should be dominating these other thoughts because pure thoughts determine who we are and what our calling in life is. A sudden realization emerged when pure thoughts dominate. I was only able to do this because I became aware of "wasteful thoughts," -thoughts which are negative and keep us busy throughout the day to unrelated things in our life. I am continuing to learn how to completely discard these wasteful thoughts but until then I challenge you to try this. To recognize these wasteful thoughts that grab hold and feed our mind chatter. Happier days will be in your forecast, trust me.

Dom